


Apples and Orgasms

by Comicbooklovergreen



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Banter, Bisexuality, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, First Orange fic, Humor, Lesbian, Oneshot, Pipex, Pre-Litchfield, Sex, self-gratification, vauseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comicbooklovergreen/pseuds/Comicbooklovergreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Litchfield. Alex comes home early intent on ravishing Piper. Turns out Piper's already engaged in some self-gratification.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apples and Orgasms

Alex was suffering serious jetlag as she entered their suite in Paris. Tiredness aside, she was rather proud of herself. She'd rushed through her latest business transactions without being sloppy about them, and now she was back a day early. Her girlfriend would be pleased. Piper kept saying they spent more time apart than not these days, and Alex couldn't really argue. Hopefully this would ease some of the tension that'd built up between them.

If Alex could figure out where the hell Piper was.

The sitting room was empty, as was the small kitchen area they almost never used. Room service came in handy after a late night of partying that bled into an early morning of fucking. Leaving her carryon for later, Alex shrugged out of her coat and draped it on the arm of the couch before continuing her search.

It didn't take long. She found Piper splayed out on the king-sized bed, in front of a muted TV that also didn't see much use. The bedroom was for other things, as evidenced by Piper's current position.

The blonde was propped against the pillows, wearing a gray t-shirt from her days at Smith and nothing else. Her nipples stuck out prominently against the fabric as her left hand alternated between them. Her right hand was between her legs.

The bedroom had a large picture window, outside of which was a view of the Eiffel Tower. Alex barely noticed this as she watched Piper get herself off. The younger woman's eyes were closed, mouth slightly open as she worked her own clit. Alex wet her lips, transfixed. Apparently Piper had found her own way of alleviating tension.

Alex observed for long moments, waiting for Piper to notice her presence. Then, from the corner of her eye, she noticed what Piper was watching on the wall mounted plasma screen. Keeping in the laughter meant coming very close to biting a hole through her lip.

A blonde and a brunette were fucking each other in ways she and Piper had only tried once. Piper pulled something after a failed maneuver and spent the rest of their time in Costa Rica nursing an icepack and a bad temper. Those memories didn't seem to be giving her trouble at the moment though.

"I must say," Alex drawled, unable to contain herself any longer, "this is way more entertaining than that shit movie they were playing on the flight."

Piper's hands froze as her eyes opened wide. "Alex?" she said, voice full of disbelief as she locked eyes with the brunette. "You're early."

"And still you got a head start on me."

Piper grinned even as her cheeks went red. In seconds she was off the bed and across the room, clutching Alex tightly. "I missed you." The words came between quick, urgent kisses.

"Obviously," Alex replied, feeling Piper's nipples against her own. Piper was visibly wet, and Alex felt a familiar ache building between her own legs.

Face turning an even deeper shade of crimson, Piper tried to pull back but Alex held her in place.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed, Alex stated, trapping Piper's hands and bringing the right one to her lips. "You also smell like pussy."

"Are you complaining?"

"What do you think?" Alex asked, sucking Piper's index finger into her mouth and enjoying the shiver she got in return.

Piper closed her eyes for long moments, letting Alex do as she pleased. Eventually she pulled back, but not before sealing Alex's mouth in another kiss. "Well. You weren't here."

Shaking her head at the fake pout in Piper's voice, Alex kissed her again, slowly. "You are in one of the most beautiful cities in the world," she said when it was over, "with one of the best views in town and three of my credit cards, and you'd rather sit in here fingering yourself. That's my girl."

"You weren't here," Piper repeated, giving Alex a playful shove that only resulted in the brunette tightening her grip. "And besides," said Piper, tone changing. "The Eiffel Tower didn't have you."

"Pipes," Alex murmured, going very still and pausing on the name. "That is…incredibly fucking sappy. Especially when you're watching rough porno sex in high def."

Piper's eyes followed her girlfriend's to the muted TV. "You weren't here," she said, almost absently this time. "You know, they billed it as rough, but I don't see it that way. It's more…passionate."

Alex's eyebrows rose to her hairline. "Passionate like the beach in Bermuda after you tried that new drink?" As she spoke, Alex moved her knee slightly, brushing Piper's exposed center.

The blonde released a shaky sigh, kissing along Alex's jawline. "Yeah. Like that."

Piper's voice went lower on the answer, testing Alex's already-stretched patience. "This," she said anyway, cocking her head towards the screen, "is not the same as that. Did you have the volume down the whole time?"

"Yeah," Piper replied, halting her ministrations and pinning Alex under a suspicious gaze. "Why?"

"Did you pay any attention to the first few minutes, before they got down to business?"

"Not really. What's the point?

"Pipes," Alex said on a laugh, "it really is just business. The brunette's who isn't as hot as me is the landlady. The blonde who isn't as hot as you is short on rent. So in a stellar example of the barter system at work, they fuck while the brunette calls the blonde a dirty coke whore who spends her rent checks on dick."

"Wha…seriously?"

"Yeah."

" _Seriously_? I didn't get any of that." A pause. "Wait, how do you know this? Do you watch porn on all your business trips?"

"I watch it for the comedic value," Alex retorted. The truth was that if she wanted to get off during her time away, she wouldn't need to do it in front of the TV. There'd been other casual relationships, other trysts during separations That was before Piper. Incredible as she sometimes found it, Alex had simply lost the desire to fuck anyone but Piper. And if she needed some release during what little downtime she had, she'd rely on a picture of the blonde long before turning to a cheap porno.

"These things are hilarious," Alex said, keeping the thoughts on Piper to herself because they still scared her a little. "And about as un-sexy as you can get. Which you'd know if you ever turned the volume up."

Piper was silent a moment, considering. Then she disentangled herself from Alex and crossed to the nightstand where she'd left the remote.

"Piper, I did not sit eight hours next to an airsick Iranian man to get here and watch porn with you. I'm looking for something a little more hands-on."

"I know, I know. And I love you, and I couldn't be happier that you're here early. I know you did it for me and I thank you. So, so much."

"But?"

"But, I'm just really curious now and I have to see this. Two minutes. Two minutes added to eight hours is nothing."

Sighing as Piper picked up the remote and sat down at the edge of the bed, Alex followed her nonetheless, depositing her glasses on the nightstand. "Scoot over, kid."

Triumphant, Piper moved further onto the mattress. Still sitting up, she rested her head on Alex's shoulder when the older woman slipped an arm around her. "I really did miss you."

"Yeah," Alex replied, smirking as she dropped a kiss into Piper's hair. "Like I said, picked up on that."

Leaning further into Piper's body, Alex let her hand run a slow trail towards Piper's center. A sly smile pulled at her lips as Piper tangled their fingers together, trying to increase Alex's rhythm.

"No," Alex murmured, turning so that her lips and tongue could roam Piper's neck. "I'm not sharing you. It's me or the TV, Pipes, make your choice."

"0h. Well if you're going to be like that..."

Piper pulled away, sticking her tongue out. Rolling her eyes, Alex kissed the blonde hard, biting lightly on the piece of flesh Piper so loved to tease her with. "You're going to pay for that," she said, speaking against Piper's mouth.

"You promise?"

"Watch your fucked up porno," Alex ordered. She tried pulling her hand away from Piper's clit, but the blonde wouldn't allow it.

"I can multi-task. So can you. This doesn't have to be an either or situation."

"Yeah it does," Alex countered, holding her palm just above Piper's center and resisting the blonde's efforts to bring her hand lower. "Either you satisfy your curiosity in the next sixty seconds and give me a proper hello, or I go back downstairs, hit the bar, and leave you up here to satisfy yourself."

Piper pouted again, extending a lower lip that was pleasantly swollen. Still, she used the hand that wasn't laced with Alex's to grab the remote and rewind the movie. In seconds, her mouth had turned down in a kind of disgusted fascination.

"Jesus. You. think they're contortionists too?" she asked, watching the two actors go at each other in quick reverse. "Like, do you think there's a clause in their contract about that? Right next to the one about swallowing?"

"I have no idea. Somehow during all my late night ponderings of life's big questions, that one never came up."

"Right. Because the last time you went philosophical on me, you were high, and comparing Nietzsche to Mickey Mouse."

"Hey," Alex retorted, nipping at Piper's earlobe. "First off, don't act like I was the only one having fun on that trip. Pun intended. And second, I had some valid fucking points, which you would've realized if you hadn't spent the entire night talking about the imaginary friend your brother used to have and how you hated him because you thought he was your parents' favorite."

"Oh yeah, Paul. I forgot about Paul." Halting the playback and upping the volume, Piper resumed the film as the brunette climbed atop her co-star.

"That's right. I'm going to ride you like you ride those strange men I hear in your bedroom at night! You think I don't hear?"

The blonde actress's response was an ear-splitting keening noise and an insertion of fingers.

"Do you take them into my apartment too?" asked the brunette who wasn't as hot as Alex. She rode her tenant's hand while posing the questions. "I know you go there when I'm not home. You go there and you do your slutty things, and you drink my apple juice. You drink my fucking _apple juice_! Why don't I throw that fucking apple juice at you while you do your dirty things? How would you like that?'

"Oh God," Piper hissed slamming the power button as hard as she could until the screen went black. "Oh fuck. Fuck."

"Yup," Alex said with a nod. "That's the romantic, passionate fare you've been subbing in for me. Feel better now?"

Piper responded by tossing the remote to the bedspread as if she'd been burned. She then shifted until she was facing Alex, straddling her lap. Her hands went to work pulling at Alex's top while her lips moved all along the other woman's face and neck.

"Should I be worried by how turned on you are right now? I'm sorry if I haven't spent enough time telling you what a stupid slut you are."

"Shut up," Piper retorted, pressing herself against Alex's thigh as she tugged the brunette's shirt over her head. "Make me forget what I just saw."

"Thought so. It's only when the porn fails that you become interested in me."

"When you came in, I was pretending that my hands were yours. Believe me, I'm interested," Piper said before latching on to Alex's pulse point and attacking it with her tongue.

"And yet when I offer to take over for you, you ignore me," Alex retorted, squeezing Piper's nipples through the fabric of her shirt. She didn't cause pain, but her movements were rougher than usual. "Don't do that again." The shirt was gone in a quick, fluid motion.

"Or what?" Piper asked, leaning into Alex's touch and pushing harder against her leg.

"Or I'll throw my fucking apple juice at you." Alex was pleased when that earned her a groan that wasn't entirely pleasure.

"I'm never going to live this down am I?"

"Fuck no," she confirmed, licking the area between Piper's breasts. "And if you make me wait again, I'll make _you_ wait. The next time you're begging me to make you come, you'll wait that extra two minutes that aren't supposed to mean anything."

Rolling until she hovered over Piper, Alex kissed her hard, timing it so their lips connected as she pushed two fingers into the blonde.

Piper cried out against her girlfriend's mouth, blindly tangling her fingers in dark hair. Alex's thrusts came hard and fast, bringing Piper up and up until she could hardly breathe past the pleasure. She broke away from Alex's kiss long enough to make her lungs work and knead furiously at her own breast. Alex's fingers drove on relentlessly, the heel of her hand slamming into Piper's clit every time. The other woman's name was about to tumble from Piper's lips when Alex suddenly stopped.

"Some new phase where you want to do everything yourself?" Alex asked. She kept the hand that was buried in Piper completely still. The other hand went to Piper's chest. "If you really want to finish this on your own that's cool. Hot actually. I'm fine to sit back and watch."

Alex's fingers were over hers, tapping lightly. Only half-stifling a frustrated moan, Piper pulled her hand away so Alex was now the only one touching her breast. _"Alex_."

The growl probably wasn't meant to be funny, but Alex chuckled before lowering her mouth to Piper's nipple, biting gently.

Piper jerked, her whole body rising up against Alex's. The older woman began to move inside her again, alternately kissing and sucking her breasts. Feeling that the game wasn't equal, Piper removed Alex's bra with surprisingly steady hands. Tossing it aside, she went to work on Alex's already-hardened nipples.

Alex lost her concentration for a few moments. Fun as it was to watch Piper get herself off, nothing compared to feeling those hands on her own body. Regaining what remained of her composure, Alex sped up her motions, smiling as Piper moaned underneath her. The blonde didn't have much of a throwing arm, so the Smith shirt she'd been wearing when Alex arrived hadn't hit the floor when Piper stripped it off. It'd simply landed farther along the bed, and Piper had managed to find it sometime after Alex took control of their encounter. She grabbed the shirt now, with the hand that wasn't worshipping Alex's breasts.

Watching Piper clutch desperately at the reminder of her alma mater, Alex abruptly removed her fingers, ignoring the blonde's whimpers of protest. Before she could get too angry, Alex moved down the bed until her head was between Piper's legs. Alex watched in satisfaction as they trembled under her gaze, placing a hand on either thigh and easing them farther apart. Gently raking her nails across the sensitive flesh, Alex kissed and licked the places she'd just touched, reveling in the way Piper pushed up against her mouth. She trailed more kisses over both of Piper's inner thighs. Finally reaching the place Piper needed her most, she let her mouth hover inches over the blonde's center.

Piper's eyes were closed tight. She clawed at the fabric of the shirt, breathing in ragged gasps. The brunette blew cool air against her clit and Piper made a sound she hadn't known she could make. Not until she met Alex anyway.

She was right there, impossibly close. So was Alex's mouth. It wouldn't take much, just a few strokes from that skilled tongue. Piper waited eagerly.

And waited.

And waited.

She didn't realize she was holding her breath until it escaped her in a rough hiss of air. She opened her eyes and searched for Alex's. The older woman met her gaze steadily.

Innocently.

Innocence and Alex Vause didn't go together.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Alex replied, shrugging her bare shoulders.

"Yeah. That would be the issue here." The words didn't come easy. _Coming_ was pretty much all Piper could think of, and Alex's breath still hit her clit every time she spoke.

Alex studied the woman who was so thoroughly at her mercy and the shirt she was grasping in a futile attempt to ground herself. "Clarify something for me," said Alex, ignoring her girlfriend's impatience. "You went to an all girl's college, surrounded by hundreds of pampered, yuppie English nerds who could've been your clones, and I was seriously your first time with a woman?"

Piper almost shot back a remark about not wanting to fuck herself before realizing how much fuel Alex would get from that. "None of the pampered, yuppie English nerds were anything like you," she replied instead.

Alex laughed. She was close enough to smell how much Piper needed her to do something else. "I fucking hope not."

Beyond desperation, Piper rocked her hips upward, only to have Alex hold her against the bed. With one arm. The other was adorned with an expensive watch bought on a whim during their last trip. At the moment, that watch seemed to hold more interest to her than Piper did. "What the fuck, Alex? Do you need to be somewhere?"

"Nope," Alex replied, infuriatingly casual as she returned her gaze to Piper. "All yours now, barring any unexpected catastrophes."

"Okay. And are you checking the fucking _time_?"

"Yup. 6:23, by the way."

Piper blinked. Repeatedly. The blood flow to other areas seemed to be slowing her brain's processing speed. "What the fuckAlex?"

Alex made a soft clicking noise with her tongue, knowing it would sharpen Piper's desire to be licked senseless. "All this language, kid. Is that the vocabulary that a $200,000 education buys you these days?"

"Why do we keep talking about my schooling? Why are we talking about anything? There shouldn't be this much talking."

"So, less talking, more fucking, is that what you're getting at?"

"Yes!"

Alex graced Piper's folds with the briefest of kisses. Then she pulled back and checked the watch again. "Well, lucky for you, you only have to wait another minute. Maybe minute and a half."

Piper opened her mouth to speak. The list of angry questions was on the very tip of her tongue.. Just as the tip of Alex's tongue was so achingly close to her. And so, _so_ far away. "No. _No_ ," Piper repeated after suddenly making sense of the rules. " _Alex!"_

" _Piper!_ I told you that the next time you wanted to come-"

"I didn't think you were serious!" Piper made a grab for Alex's hair, trying to bring the brunette lower. Again, Alex resisted her.

Alex didn't bother hiding her enjoyment. "You didn't think I was serious about the drugs either," she observed, using her weight to pin the squirming woman beneath her. "Honestly Pipes, have you learned nothing?"

"You're an asshole."

"Again, shouldn't be news. Quit with the tantrum already. I'm only going to make you stew in your own juices a little while longer." Smirking up at Piper, Alex grazed her fingers very close to the blonde's entrance. "You're lucky I enjoy those juices so much, because you definitely didn't rack up a lot of Good Girlfriend points today. The free show I got coming in just barely makes up for you choosing porn over me."

Resigned to her fate, Piper laid back on the mattress, rolling her eyes at the ceiling. "Why do you have to be built like a fucking amazon?" she muttered, cursing her inability to overpower Alex?"

"We all have gifts in life, kid," Alex replied, still touching everywhere except the place Piper wanted. "I'm tall and good at selling drugs. You're book smart and you run like Forrest Gump. That's just how it is."

"Nice," said Piper, sitting up on her elbows to glare at the brunette. "That's really nice, Alex. First I'm a pampered, yuppie nerd, now I'm a mentally impaired man with a candy fixation. I'm so glad you came home early. You always make me feel so good about myse-"

Alex sucked Piper's clit into her mouth, turning the rest of the rant into a strangled scream. She wasn't totally sure that two minutes had elapsed, but Piper bitching about not feeling good was the best cue Alex could imagine. She smiled against Piper's sex as the blonde's legs wrapped around her. "Another either or situation, Pipes," she said, voice muffled. "You can keep giving me shit, or I can finish what you started. Fight or fuck." The closest thing she got to a coherent response was Piper's heel pressing into her back.

That was answer enough.

Burying one hand in Alex's hair, Piper clawed the bedspread with the other. Her hips moved instinctively, rolling upward every time Alex's tongue rolled across her clit. She'd felt like smacking the smirk off that mouth a few second earlier, and now she only wanted more of it. More of Alex. She might've voiced that aloud if Alex hadn't pushed two fingers inside, stretching her open.

Piper was quite sure neither of the women in the porno had been having this much fun.

Curling her fingers inside, Alex feasted on Piper, feeling the blonde shake as her inner walls began to tighten. "So," said Alex, still lapping at the blonde's center. "You really miss me, kid?"

"Fuck," Piper gasped. "Alex!"

"Answer or I'll stop," Alex replied, slowing her thrusts enough to make the point.

"Yes! God yes! You know…" A moan swallowed her next words as Alex hit a particularly sensitive spot. "You know I did," Piper ground out, ready to lose herself to the pleasure.

"Yeah, I know," Alex murmured, carefully taking Piper's clit between her teeth. "Prove it anyway. Come for me, Pipes."

Piper obeyed. She always seemed to obey Alex, whether that meant responding after being addressed as a virginal literary character, following Alex halfway across the world, or carrying a bag of drug money. Sometimes Piper was scared by it, how easy it was for Alex to get what she wanted from her.

Not now though. Definitely not now.

Alex smiled as Piper announced her imminent orgasm. She closed her eyes and deepened her thrusts, amused as always by the blonde's inability to keep quiet. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sounds, the feel of Piper moving against her. Then she realized that the screams were getting even louder than usual. And that they weren't all coming from Piper. Reopening her eyes, Alex leaned up enough to get a better view of the blonde. She was shaking uncontrollably, the bedspread around her a tangled mess. She'd thrown an arm over her head, and lying near that arm was the TV remote. It must've shifted during their struggle for control earlier. For the second time, Alex chewed at her lip to keep from laughing.

Piper had managed the rather impressive feat of hitting the remote, resuming the movie, and turning the volume up to an irritating level. Without meaning to do any of it.

"Come for me!" the brunette actress was screaming, holding her co-star in a way that couldn't possibly be comfortable. "Come on, you pretty little whore! I know you do it for all those dirty old men you bring home at night. Am I not good enough for you? My apple juice is good enough to steal, but my pussy doesn't do it for you?"

Judging from the way her eyes popped open, Piper finally seemed aware of the background noise. She was still coming though, incapable of controlling her muscles.

Alex shook her head and moved up Piper's body, one hand still pushing inside her. "For fuck's sake, Piper," she muttered, no longer able to contain a bemused laugh. One-handed, she grabbed the remote. Since she almost never used it and wasn't wearing her glasses, none of the buttons were recognizable. Frustrated and horny, Alex did the only thing she could think of. She threw the remote at the TV. It smacked the blonde porn star in the face while she rode her co-star's fingers and admitted her status as a dirty, thieving bitch. A crack formed across the plasma screen, splitting the blonde's nose in two.

Then, somewhat to Alex's surprise, the screen went dark and silent. The last of Piper's moans seemed unusually quiet after the too-loud porno. Alex savored them regardless, working her fingers inside of Piper until the blonde eased her away. Before then she hadn't stopped, not even while dealing with the TV.

Piper was right in praising her ability to multitask..

Carefully freeing her fingers, Alex slipped off the shoes she hadn't bothered to remove earlier and laid down on her side, next to Piper. She also retrieved her glasses, frowning as she got a better look at the wrecked plasma screen. "You see that? That is why I don't fucking like TV in the bedroom."

The joke brought on a kind of post-coital hysteria in Piper. Burying her face in the crook of Alex's neck, she giggled uncontrollably, nails digging into bare shoulders as she held Alex close. "Oops," she choked out between bouts of laughter

"Hey, I have an idea," Alex declared, nipping at the blonde's collarbone. "How about you never, ever have 'oops'be your first after sex comment again? Great idea, don't you think?"

"It was your fault," Piper argued, wrapping her leg around Alex's as she tried to compose herself.

"Really? I'm the one who turned the porn to surround sound? "

"It was an accident."

"Fine, but it's not my fault that you don't watch where you're thrashing. If you wanted to eliminate the problem we could try the hand tie thing again."

Piper kissed her silent, leisurely mapping Alex's mouth with her tongue. Alex returned the contact, rubbing absent patterns across Piper's spine. The blonde stayed close to her long after the kiss broke, showing no signs of letting go. Piper did that after the trips sometimes, clung to Alex as if she could keep her there for good, stop her from leaving again.

"So much for the room deposit," Alex mused. "Too bad. I was going to order breakfast in bed tomorrow. Coffee, croissants. Apple juice. Lots and lots of apple juice."

Piper rolled her eyes and turned so that Alex was spooning her. Alex suspected this was less about comfort than it was about Piper not wanting to look her in the eye.

"Oh don't be like that," said the brunette, brushing a strand of hair behind Piper's ear and tightening her hold. "This will make one hell of an awesome story."

"Uh-uh. No way. There is no story because this stays between us."

"Jesus Pipes," Alex teased, kissing the back of Piper's neck. "First you won't let me tell the squirting story, now this?. What the hell am I supposed to talk about at parties?"

"I don't know, something other than our sex life?"

"Nice of you to close off my favorite subject, kid."

Piper chuckled again before reaching up to lace her fingers with the brunette's. "Al, I'm really glad you came home. Thank you."

Alex smiled into Piper's hair, kissing her shoulder. "You're welcome. I wasn't exaggerating; the flight was a bitch. There was a problem with my ticket, the customs guy was a dick, we've already discussed the asshole sitting next to me. I was thinking of you the whole time though, how the look on your face when I showed up would make it all worth it." For Alex, that was a lot. She might not have said it if Piper was facing her.

The blonde was still for a moment. Then she shifted so she could meet Alex's gaze. Pressing their foreheads together, Piper gently touched the other woman's lips. "Alex Vause, that is incredibly fucking sappy coming from you. It's one of the sweetest things you've ever said." Piper ran her hand along Alex's leg. The brunette was still clothed from the waist down. "Take your pants off."

Alex smirked, already feeling Piper's fingers at the apex of her thighs. "That is definitely one of the sweetest things _you've_ ever said," she declared before pouncing on the other woman.


End file.
